Me

Me! I wanted to just discussed where I am at this point in my life.

I started a new position at work which has taken me out of my comfort zone. See I have worked with kids pretty much my whole life and I was a good daycare director but I realize that it was redundant. I loved the people I loved what I did but I hated the fact that it was a gerbil wheel and every day, day in and day out I felt like I was doing the same thing. So I took a job at a non profit which was scary, I worried that I would not be good enough or be good at it. It offered me the chance to work from home and a flexible schedule which was something that I wanted because I wanted to be home with my kids more. But now that I am home, I find that I work later hours due to having to pick up kids and now that I am home the kids are asking so much of me. It is hard for me to find a balance in this. I told myself that no matter what I would give this job at least a year because I need to know all aspects of it to know what I want to do next, to walk away prematurely would do me more harm than good (For me). This new job is pushing me, I see that I still love helping people and I am seeing how different people in the field of case management and different state and local agencies operate, it’s really eye opening.

I’ve been reading this book that my therapist recommended, “On Purpose’’ couple that with the last few episodes of Insecure it has me thinking a lot about my choices. My choices! My choices weather people agree with them or not are my choices and maybe because I am about to turn 40.. which will be it’s own post. But I have been re-evaluating my life and the choices that I have and continue to make over the years, some where so stupid and so unwise while others were no brainers. Some the consequences will stay with me others will be the lesson I needed to learn.

There are things I am still trying to figure out, I do not think I really know what I want to be when I grow up, I just know it will involve helping people in some way. That has always been my goal even when I was small. I don’t know where life will lead me next or what decisions that I will make that will alter my whole life…yikes! But I am happy that I have people around me that will help and will walk with me not judge me, I have people who I can bounce ideas off of and tell me or show me a different way of doing things. I think sometimes we feel like we have to do this thing by ourselves but it’s nice to have someone or people to help carry the load.